The Five-Year Plan

The infamous "I've-got-it-all-figured-out" certificate, the five-year plan is treated like a proof of maturity. If you know exactly where you'll be, who you'll be with, what you'll earn, and what city you'll live in, you must be serious about life. But I wonder, how realistic is that expectation? Especially when you factor the grim reaper biological clock if you want children. The plan seems to become muddy and not so clear when you plan not just careers, but bodies, relationships, family timelines, and futures built around variables you can't control. So this begs the question: is the five-year plan more of a hindrance or a help?

We all have somewhat of an idea of where we want to be within the next five years. I can bet that most of us have "be rich" somewhere in there. For the most part we all have a portion of the plan set—e.g., dream job, kid count, where you will plant roots, etc., but the five-year plan is a web of attainable goals for your future and the ways to get them. For those who read my "What's Next?" blog post, this is essentially the answer to that god-forsaken question. While I do find it hella unfair to expect the five-year plan practically notarized once you graduate high school, it usually is the benchmark for someone who "has it together," especially in the presence of a professor, boss, or adult relative who loves asking for a printed copy. Say that your dream job is to be a doctor, the five-year plan has to take into account the amount of time it takes to get your doctorate, and factor relationship goals into the timeline so that you reach those objectives at the age you are comfortable with. In a way there is comfort in knowing there is a fixed time for how long med school, or law school takes the average person and how long before you become a practicing employee. If you want a career in the fine arts, that becomes much harder as you have no idea when your big break might hit you, or if it ever will.

The five-year plan is a great inspiration base to see how your life looks like years from now should you achieve plan A versus plan B. However, the more detailed and methodical you make it out to be, then it looks more like a house of cards. Relying so heavily on it consequentially makes it really hard to bounce back once a card falls and something doesn't go how you planned it. If you get fired, or if you don't get into the specialty school you wanted, or your forever relationship diminishes, or our president decides to make my life hell and narrow down the list of states where I can plant my roots just in case I need emergency medical treatment, and where monthly gas isn't like paying rent's annoying little cousin. Stuff like that can truly blow the house of cards miles from where you made it. It is then up to you to adapt and decide what truly needs rebuilding. Relationship intentions are even harder to build a basis on because no matter how many dating apps you might try, or how many clubs you visit, or how badly you want arms around you by Christmas, only the universe has that answer. Yet I have also found that it is when you explicitly proclaim that you do not want a relationship, that one will appear to you. The universe is just hilarious like that.

Per usual a poll was created and pretty much all the recipients hated this question lol. It just seems to stress people out for no reason. A good chunk of the answers said they knew what career they wanted and were on the path toward it, but did not see any marriage dates set in stone—or vice versa. Never one with both though, and I think there's a message in that: literally no one has it 100% together, so breathe. Having a general idea of what you want your future to look like is always a good thing. It gives you something to aim for and helps you prepare for the uncontrollable variables along the way. But putting all your eggs in the five-year basket only makes it heavier for you and difficult to carry towards the finish line. The five-year plan can sometimes feel less like ambition and more like being chased by invisible deadlines, and that is when it stops being a guide and becomes a measure of whether you are "on track" or not. Truthfully, most of us are building our futures in uneven pieces anyway. Some parts move way quicker than you expected, some stall completely, and some don't make sense until years later. A plan can be grounding as well as motivating, but it isn't a binding contract. The goal isn't to have a perfect five-year plan at all, but to have enough flexibility to survive when it inevitably changes. Because it will, and that won't mean you failed the plan. It just means you're living a reality that refuses to be predicted so neatly. And to me, that sounds like more fun.