Greener Grass

It's always greener on the other side right? Not to be indistinguishable from comparison and its theft of joy, but the greener grass being always what you want regardless of what you have. Is it ever truly greener? It seems like its only greener until you actually achieve it, then it's brighter somewhere else.

The common versions of greener grass usually stem from what you think you want versus what you have. They can be as small as catching a cold, and then reminiscing about all the times when you weren't sick and taken it for granted. As sizable as career incompletion—where you have grown bored or annoyed at the stepping stones towards a career that you refuse to complete any of them. Or even as common as being single and yearning for a life partner to love, while your married friend longs for your single freedom. It seems that the greener grass is tasked with making your current life look less than it is. Underneath the metaphor, "the grass is always greener on the other side" implies that it is a great bright day on your grass that you glance over at another and see how much greener it is. But when the bright day dims into the night, the grass looks the same. There is an equal balance between good and bad days on any grass you stand on. The goal is to be grateful for the grass you have and learn to enjoy the life you have planted for yourself so far. And luckily you have found this awesome blog to remind you that you have done more than you give yourself credit for.

Job hopping is one of the healthier forms of the quest for greener grass—most people I know often want to leave their stable job in order to pursue what they actually want to do in life. If this is you, I beg, please be smart about it and save up because jobs are extremely scarce right now. We might spend the day in an office chair and then head home and see an influencer traveling to Greece for the eighth time this year. 'Man I wish my job were as easy as snapping pictures and travelling for free' only to see that each job comes with its own set of conflicts. There is the less healthy, yet still common, relationship dissatisfaction form of greener grass. One where someone considers—borderline confuses—their stable relationship for one of boredom and not enough spontaneity. Pretty much the storyline for every fictional cheating husband plot. Yet you will find that with both of these funnels for acquiring the greener grass, never actually seem to reach it. Each new path you take in order to get there seems to unearth its own set of problems—ones unanticipated and therefore unprepared for, and before you know it you are back to where you started.

Greener grass doesn't only have to deal with external affairs but internal awareness as well. I, myself, am an extroverted person—I can almost always spark a conversation. But, man, I have always wanted to be the mysterious, cool girl. In any form of media I indulge myself in, whether it be a movie, or book, or show, there is always a wise, pretty, chill, mysterious character and I have always wanted to come across that way but I genuinely never shut up, so here we are. I've grown to be okay with who I am and how I come across because I know that if I were to morph into the mysterious one I would not be the person I am now. Per usual blog post—I say as if I have more than 7 blog posts up—I took a brief survey amongst group chats and understood the multilayered greener grass between friends. I have one friend who used to be an open book but found more pain in opening her arms for untrustworthy people, that they find being closed off much easier. I have another friend who did the exact same thing but vice versa—they found loneliness where they wanted friendship. While the greener grass might seem like the better way of life, who knows how different your life might be should you pursue it.

I will say that this way of thinking reminds me of the fictional story in my head where I find a genie lamp. I list the three wishes I'd make and then wallow because life sucks and I do not have a genie and do not have unlimited wishes. In reality, I list my three wishes and think, 'Okay well I don't have a genie to make these things happen so I have to do it myself.' My first wish was made way back in 2019 where I wished to be super flexible so I could return to dancing. So I stretched, took ballet classes and am extremely happy where I am at now. Do I still see dancers who are 10x more flexible and famous and become green with grassy envy? Sure, but then I remind myself where I was and where I am at. It's a lot easier to shoot yourself down than it is to give yourself credit, and while some self-criticism is helpful once in a while, it should never outweigh the positives you give yourself. Greener grass should not mean don't appreciate the grass you are still standing on. The greener grass you are comparing yours to has just as many thorns of conflict laying unearthed to your naked eye—only to be seen and pricked once you actually stand on it.

Whether you consider yourself to be a pessimist or an optimist when it comes to self evaluation, please compliment yourself anyway. Personally, I am my own worst critic and it sucks—I will even find myself excusing compliments others give me with pity, or 'they were just being nice.' It's like I refuse to water my own grass so of course everything will be greener by comparison—devaluing the grass I have spent 22 years standing on. Look at your own grass and water it today, and tomorrow, and the day after that. Give yourself credit for the grass you have spent over a decade making great. While I might not know all of you personally, I know I can bet you have a lot more to give yourself credit for.

Be nice to your grass—be nice to yourself!