Immovable Hills

What is a belief you have that is unyielding? More colloquially said, what is a hill you are willing to die on? Often merged with unpopular opinions, I find that immovable hills give away far more about us than we realize. They become the lenses that tint how we interpret people, relationships, and even ourselves. If you believe in the saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater" you probably aren't a big fan of second chances. Not to say that is a bad thing, it is simply your perception molded by past pain or witnessed situations. If you are like me and believe Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by her hired doppelganger Melissa in 2013, then your perceptions are spot on. Immovable hills vary in their holders, they can be controversial, relationship based, and even moral foundations. But discovering why you cling to specific hills reveals how it shapes your larger worldview.

Lets start with the controversial winner: can money buy happiness? As a broke, newly graduated college student, the answer is a resounding yes. I personally find that the only people who insist that money cannot buy happiness, are the ones who...conveniently have money. Wealth may not solve existential dread as that is just a side effect of being human, but it absolutely solves the version of unhappiness brought upon by financial stresses. Money can make your life easier, and financial freedom almost always creates happiness. Who knows maybe if I win the lottery I can come back and edit the post to test this hill.

Another, quite popular, hill is the ever-circulating: "if they wanted to, they would." Fairly accurate on it's own, honestly. Effort is a love language, and most of the time people do show you what you mean to them through their actions. But this hill often gets confused with mind reading. Wanting someone to want something is not the same as them actually knowing about it. You might want your partner to surprise you with that one gift you've been eyeing--but if you never mentioned it, you can't exactly blame them for not magically aligning with your mental Pinterest board. Managing expectations is part of being human. "If they wanted to, they would" works when someone knows what you want and still chooses not to try. It doesn't work when we never open our mouths. And this is where immovable hills get interesting, as they don't just guide our expectations but shape our morals and influence our choices.

I had received a few of the common immovable hills in my usual polls, however one stuck out to me. College isn't for everyone. Ironically, I got this hill from friends of mine who have long since graduated. Not everyone needs college to be successful, yet it's pretty much embedded in every coming of age film or media format that you just HAVE to go to college. Traditional routes aren't required for meaningful lives. I am truly proud of those who have proudly said college wasn't in your plan. I talked of switching my major at Thanksgiving one year and was met with a blank stare from each family member, within a giant, pregnant pause. So good for you guys. The concept of traditional routes--high school, college, marriage, kids, etc.--being the golden path towards the enlightenment is inaccurate. Countless successful people have reached their success with all to none of the things I listed. I am sure there are those who have an immovable hill that deems college a necessity for every single person. That might tie into your desire for financial stability and the belief that everyone should have a solid foundation to fall back on if need be. Neither is incorrect, each immovable hill is unique to you and provides perception tints you didn't know existed in your everyday beliefs.

Last one, comfort is not the same as happiness. This is a personal one for me. There are those who find themselves going through the motions without an end goal and neither the yearn to even find one. I find that we confuse comfort and happiness quite a bit. We choose what feels familiar because it's easier than choosing what feels right. Comfort is the relationship you stay in because you have already invested three birthdays. It's the job you tolerate because it's predictable, not fulfilling. It's the city you have outgrown but remain residential because moving requires effort, money, and change--three things that are tri-dependent on each other. Comfort is warm, safe, and familiar, but happiness asks more of you. The problem is that comfort often imitates happiness so well that you don't realize you're settling until something shakes you awake. You get a glimpse of what you could feel, and suddenly everything you accepted as "fine" feels unbearably small. Comfort does not challenge you or ask you of anything--it keeps you where you are. And for those who might believe the antithesis of my hill is true instead, that might be enough. But personally, staying comfortable eventually turns into a quiet kind of dread.

In the end, our immovable hills are less about stubbornness and more about self-awareness. They explain why we love the way we do, why we set certain standards, and why some things feel unforgivable while others barely register. Each hill-- whether it aligns with money, effort, college, comfort, etc.--quietly reveals what we value most and what we won't compromise on. They shape the way we interpret people, the choices we make, and the futures we imagine for ourselves. When you understand your hills, you start to understand yourself a little more clearly too.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your wonderful families :)