Odds Are...

How often would you say you pay attention to signs from the universe? Do you ever buy lottery tickets? Why do we play the game of odds when diving into the dating pool? If he calls Wednesday for Saturday, you have to be busy. If she takes an hour to text back, you take two. And on and on and on. Odds are used daily but often subconscious—or rather we frequently underestimate how often we bead the odds because we only notice when we lose. The odds aren't just numbers, they are personal patterns. They reflect our fears, hopes, habits, and assumptions. They influence choices more than we admit.

You grab an umbrella on the 'off-chance' you might need it. Studying certain topics more than others because they're more likely to be on the exam. Leaving early because you can feel there is still going to be traffic. We think of odds as something reserved for casinos or statistics, but we use them every day without noticing. Social odds, for instance, we wonder 'if i say x, what are the chances it comes off wrong?' or deciding whether or not to approach someone. Sometimes we guard our hearts a little more, fearful of the odds of someone breaking it. Odds are almost instinctual, automatically bracing ourselves or preventing a problem going forward.

Sometimes our biggest decisions aren't logical, but emotional bets. Emotional odds are not about logic—they're about avoiding pain or chasing possibility. Falling for someone even though you might get hurt. Trying again after failing. Not applying for something because you don't think you will get in. These bets have nothing to do with math and everything to do with protecting ourselves, or rather what we think is self-preservation. Half the time, it's you robbing yourself of what might have been. Believe me when I say, this exact process is one that is conditioned in my head. I won't apply for things because I probably won't get in anyway. I won't finish stories sometimes because if it stays in my head, it stays perfect. If I write it out and it sucks, then it sucks. However, the famous Tennyson quote, reworked and rewritten for thousands of 2000's romance movies, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is painfully true. The same can be said for career choices or opportunities you shy away from out of fear of rejection. You can't win if you don't play. Even if you fall, at least you can say you tried. Little do you know, as I type this post, I am procrastinating working on my book hehe. I'll get to it. I digress, we call it self-preservation, but more often than not it's just a quiet fear that is oh-so-omnipresent. Here, the odds become a shield, one we hide behind even when the risk might be worth taking.

What we choose to ignore, though, is how often we beat the odds. We tend to notice the odds far more when we lose versus when we win. When we win, suddenly it's luck, or a fluke. Yet when we lose, it's all you remember for next time. Odds are just our personal statistics. We predict the outcome of our future anchored from the outcome of our past. You guessed it, a poll was conducted. It was unanimous that we tend to look at the odds that came from failure more than we notice the quiet times we beat them. And it is those failures that influence our next decisions. As a friend of mine, quite succinctly, explained: if you are offered a strawberry or a banana, will you pick the same one every time? What if yesterday you had a 'trash-ass strawberry' so you'd pick the banana. Some pointed out that sometimes weighing out the odds of each decision is a pragmatic lesson. Which can be true in a sense, like the odds of who's accepted into law schools depending on the scoring averages—those are extremely helpful. But sometimes those odds are flat out lies. Job applications for instance, if its an internship, on what planet would I need 3 years experience? If it's entry level, I should not need a masters degree. Also, side note, why is every single profession difficult to get into? Medicine? Check. Law? Check. Fine Arts? Check. Anything out of state? Check. Moving on before I get upset, some of my poll-takers pointed out that they tend to weigh the odds of each decision so much that it seems like a hinderance more than a help—this ties into the image and value you hold yourself to. You not applying to a job because you already "know" you won't get it, is devaluing yourself. You are doing yourself a disservice when you cut out opportunities because you already deem yourself unworthy of them. Just because you believe the odds wont be in your favor, doesn't mean you shouldn't attempt to beat them anyway.

As I type, I have learned that odds aren't just numbers, but personal statistics. They are shaped by what we have lived through, what we expect, what we know, what we fear, and what we hope for. Odds influence the choices we make, the risks we take, and the moments we avoid. But they are not absolute!! Just because you don't think you can beat the odds does not mean that you won't. Often times the journey to something worth doing, is uphill. Odds do not determine reality—they just color the way we predict it. And maybe the trick isn't ignoring odds or obsessing over them, but noticing when we beat them, when they help us, and when they quietly hold us back.