Recurring New Things

Would you call yourself spontaneous? How often would you say you try new things? There's always the interesting new eatery you'd like to taste, or a different kind of haircut, or maybe a gym class you'd want to try. The very definition of being spontaneous is contingent on it sprouting from a spur-of-the-moment idea in your head. You can't plan to be spontaneous—that's essentially an oxymoron.

Socially, being spontaneous is a positive attribute one should try once in a while, though it seems like a tightrope over a black hole. You might make it across and even have fun while doing it, but the quicker and more often you walk it, you are bound to slip. Being so spontaneous all the time usually leads to a more impulsive-like behavior. You don't need a tattoo every time you walk by a tattoo shop. It can also lead to a more naive way of looking at things. I saw a video once of this girl and her friend who were on vacation and met some guys on jet ski's and offered to take them to an island not far from the beach they were on. Spontaneous and looking for fun, they went with them. All turned out okay and the island was gorgeous. But, what a quick way to get murdered good god do not do that. A friend of mine recently met a guy at a networking event who said he was on his way to Pembroke Pines, coincidentally where my friend was also headed but was going to Uber, so he offered to take her. Spontaneous sure, but either one of you could've murdered the other. Let's just also be CAUTIOUS when we try to be spontaneous.

There is also the plethora of thesis papers regarding the origin of spontaneity and if it truly resides in the existence of freedom. Or does it rely on the existence of social environment? Are you trying to be spontaneous because it's socially more appealing than most characteristics? Or simply because you can. Spontaneity is linked to freedom, but the nature of said link is often debated. The debate centers on whether freedom requires spontaneity and what type of spontaneity is necessary for moral action versus freedom from external restraint. (like when you break your diet or you moved out so you walk around your new place naked just because you can). Personally, I think the existence of spontaneity existing only within the orbit of freedom, is what makes it so appealing. You couldn't do it before, due to various forms of restraint, but now you are free to do as you please.

Said restraints are also interesting to think about. Say you want to try out a new gym class but you can't. Or you yearn to hike the Appalachian Mountains, but never train to try. Why? If you have ever seen the movie How To Be Single, you might remember the beginning breakup scene where Alice claims she needs to end her relationship in order to do the things she has always wanted to do: take a self defense class, learn how to cook Italian food, hike to the Grand Canyon. I don't necessarily disagree, but her boyfriend wasn't the reason she never did any of those things. If your relationship is holding you back from what you truly want to do, by all means change it, but in Alice's case, I think she just wanted to be single lol. I fear that the older you get the harder it becomes to try new things. Ironic, considering the amount of freedom you gain once you reach adulthood. Alcohol, car rentals, unsupervised vacations, etc. Yet, you have to jump through hoops to get those things. Can't try a new pilates class because their operating hours clash with your current employment. Despite your free-as-a-bird schedule, you can't afford a vacation to a new destination because you have no job. There are also subtle societal constraints you might not even notice.

I had a friend who refuses to go anywhere by herself. I told her about the time I really wanted to see the movie Fall and no one wanted to see it with me because it sounded really bad. True? Maybe, but I am a sucker for any media where the protagonist is stuck somewhere—of course I had to see it. So I went to see it by myself. You would think I shot a puppy in front of her with the way she clutched her pearls. She found it blasphemous that I would go to a social space, by myself. I, however, found it even more strange that she refuses to go anywhere alone for fear of what others might be thinking. If you are reading this and I am describing you, please try something new and dip your toe into company with yourself! I'm not advising you go clubbing alone because THAT is scary as hell, but maybe a breakfast date by yourself or a bar. Who knows what you might discover about yourself, and who you might meet. Even if others are judging you for alone time, you might learn how you handle those situations. If you freeze, if you lash out, if you can handle it, if you find it funny, etc. This also tends to tie into those who are constantly trying new things out of societal influence, pure boredom, or the everlasting need to find something fulfilling.

This has become a bit of a tangent but I also wanted to touch on chronic dissatisfaction and its origin being tethered to spontaneity. Chronic dissatisfaction is a relentless feeling that life is lacking, leading to discontent in just about everything—it festers into a sense of something undefinable, that is always missing. Initially, undetectable to the naked eye, it begins with spontaneity. They take photography one week, and then piano the next. This spiral continues, yearly, into chronic dissatisfaction that pretty much leads to finding everything unsatisfying. It's usually what you wish on your worst enemy. Chronic dissatisfaction doesn't actually come from trying new things—it comes from the belief that newness will save you. When spontaneity becomes a substitute for purpose, nothing feels good for long because you never give anything the chance to. And that's the irony: the same freedom that lets you try something new also lets you stay put long enough to enjoy it. Spontaneity should expand your life, not hollow it out. Once you stop treating every new thing like a cure, you finally get to feel the quiet satisfaction of things that last.