Refreshers

Life seems to come with built-in, subconscious refreshers. After eating something salty, we want something sweet. After a long week, we want a night out with friends. After being social all weekend, we want a quiet night alone. It is almost instinctual the way our bodies and minds ask for something opposite to reset itself. What are some of yours?

Power naps, cold showers after sob sessions, Tinder after a bad breakup, going to Taco Bell after a night out, the list is endless. Refreshers matter because they help the mind and body return to balance after experiencing something that brings you too far up or too far down. Throughout the day we tend to experience things in extremes—too much noise, a stressful day, too much stimulation, or even too much quiet. When that happens, we (or me at least) tend to refresh ourselves with the opposite. These small resets help us slow down before the next thing, almost like a space in between to process what happened before moving on to the next thing. Without these little refreshers, emotions, and stress can bottle up and make the smallest thing feel overwhelming. I once had a horrible week and the straw that broke my back was me accidentally spilling dog food all over the kitchen floor and I broke down crying. This topic came to me because I read a book that truly touched my soul, so much that it earned my number one favorite book spot—a spot that was never meant to be filled as I am a harsh critic. It was that outstanding. Rebecca Ross the woman you are. I digress, the book was so good that I did not want to read anything else for over a month. I tried to read other series novels I had bought, but I could not bring myself to move past the opening page. I realized later that I needed a fluff-Hallmark paperback cover refresher book before I could read something of authentic substance again. Or when you see a movie that makes you cry or it reaches you in a way that no movie ever has, and you need to watch a bad-straight to streaming-scary movie as a palette cleanser before you hit the theater again.

Personally, I think a hot shower is my favorite refresher, and it is why I will most definitely need a hot tub when I own my first house. I also love seat warmers, I get so excited whenever I am in my friends newer cars because I crank those all the way up no matter how hot it is outside. Maybe I am just a fourth reptilian because I live in Miami—in what world would I want more heat, but it lets me release a breath deep enough to bring my shoulders back to Earth from the moon. Per usual a poll was conducted, and I got to see some of my friends notice subconscious refreshers. One tends to go outside anytime he feels overwhelmed or just too caved in, both physically and mentally. Another friend of mine has refreshers revolving around work, so she feels amazing when she puts a giant Excel spreadsheet together—which kudos to her because I fucking hate Excel. It should not take me twenty years to just make a column wider. I digress², another friend of mine found that she prefers ranting to our group chats about her life and finds hitting "Send" to be therapeutic on its own. I guess just knowing someone heard you and doesn't even need to respond helps your brain to relax. Another friend of mine said she loves to see her friends after a rough week because those "genuine belly laughs" can heal anything, and I wholeheartedly agree.

As I type I notice that many refreshers involve simple physical sensations—hot showers, walks outside, genuine belly laughs etc. These pull attention back to the present moment which can calm the mind. Refreshers tend to pull us back and remind us that we don't just switch states instantly, they act almost as a buffer between experiences. Like after a fight, you want space, and then you talk it out. After a busy week, you go out, then you resume your normal routine. Without that transition, everything blends together and that feels overwhelming. Refreshers stop feelings from building up so much that we crack over the final straw. They help us process emotions instead of carrying them around, and then breaking down because you stubbed your toe on the dining table. Refreshers are the small ways we take care of ourselves without noticing. In reference to my previous post, "Pieces of Joy," this reminds me of how pieces of joy are the happy pocket moments for the mind, while refreshers are for the body. They are not huge life changes or dramatic solutions, just tiny course corrections that keep us from drifting too far in one direction. A walk outside, a rant session, or even a dumb movie after something emotionally heavy. They give us a moment to breathe before the next thing happens. I would say the trick is not ignoring those instincts when they show up. Maybe the mind and body already knows when it needs a reset—you just have to listen.