Safety Nets

They all come in different forms. Relationships, jobs, colleges, businesses, etc. What usually remains unique in varying from person to person is the reason. Why lay out a safety net when what you truly want is elsewhere? What is the plausible downside in achieving what you want without rolling out the safety net first?

Colleges and businesses are the usual go-to safety nets. When graduating high school it's imposed on you to apply to at least 5 universities. If you're smart you did as you were encouraged and had your pick of safety nets, I did not. I was ready to go a quarter-million dollars in debt to live in New York, attend university, and live in a shoebox. My safety net was only rolled out for me about a week before fall classes actually started, so I wound up at Miami Dade College—zero regrets. Go sharks. You might have applied and attended an ivy league instead of the university closer to home instead—I imagine maybe some regrets but I am jealous nonetheless. When I say businesses in the realm of safety nets, usually what comes to mind is real estate or stocks. I know next to nothing about either—everything I know about real estate I have learned from House Hunters and my tearfully depressing Zillow favorites list. What I do know, is that family members and coworkers invest in real estate as a safety net as well as stocks. I give these examples to demonstrate that not all safety nets are a bad thing, sometimes they work out for the better and catch you when you really need them.

Relationship and job safety nets on the other hand, are more damaging than falling without one. The amount of people I know who stay in horrible relationships because they fear being alone or deem the relationship to be surmountable to their very worth, saddens me more than anything. Part of my view on relationship safety nets stems from my understanding of free will within the time we have. Much to my dismay, no one on planet earth is granted more than 24 hours in one day. No amount of money could buy you a few extra years. Status, appearance, nor age at all influence how much time you have—today is the last day you will ever be this young. So please, dear god listen to me when I say, do not waste your time on someone who doesn't deserve it. Do not waste any fragment of your life on a freaking situationship. Situationship????? Even that word is garbage. That term is nothing, I did not think we could lower the bar any more when we reached "talking stage" BUT ALAS. HERE WE ARE. I digress, this bit of advice could be applied to any point your relationship might be in currently whether it be the prologue, beginning, middle, or end.

Job safety nets are bit more elusive and much easier to get defensive about. "I'm not giving up my dream to be a professional pianist, I am simply taking advantage of my job at the car dealership to fund that dream." Only after a few years of that wall molded from excuses, your dream becomes your daily hobby. Which then turns into your sometimes-hobby. Up until that flame of passion has been snuffed out so much you don't even recognize the keys anymore. Having a passion for creative outlooks is the biggest double edged sword if ever there was one. You have to go after your dreams...but still afford to live and support your responsibilities. You have to be successful at your passion....but don't make your passion too much like your work or it won't suffice anymore. It took me about 3 years to even realize how much I like writing and once I did I made a tiny blog to feel sane as I work at my full-time finance job—this little corner of the internet helps me to not forget how much I love it. But there are those who have a passion for singing, who only do it in the privacy of their own car along with the radio. Or those who love to paint and only do it in their spare time. Making a career of a passion in the arts is extremely difficult—I mean hell, almost every famous poet and painter only reached their level of success once they weren't alive anymore to revel in it. However, making a career in anything before you even understand what it is you love is a whole other realm of frustration in its own way.

Countless classmates I've had find it ridiculous that one needs to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, by the age of 18. Even the age of 21 is too young for some. And this is where the job safety net envelops you completely before you even noticed it rolling out beneath your feet. Do you really like your 9-5? or is it comfortable? Do you have a passion for bartending? Or is it just the stepping stone to a career that is the antithesis? This is precisely what those two years at the start of college are for—I admire those who only changed their major twice, as the average is about 6. Contrary to the hydraulic press that is our parents asking the big question: "What are you going to do with your life?" you do not need to have the answer by your 18th birthday. Finding something you love to do, making it your career, and being able to support yourself and/or other responsibilities are three completely different things. It's okay to get your footing on one at a time.

All I ask as you read this is to simply look inward and determine if you find yourself truly happy in what you do. Should you find it personally fulfilling but not particularly wallet-friendly, I say keep it. Should you find your safety net to be a suffocating hourglass, then I say look elsewhere. I don't mean up and quit, money is very nice—just open yourself up to considering something else. Relationships as well, should you find the good in your life to barely outweigh the bad, consider your current life in terms of vastness. I know being single might seem scarier than it is, but don't waste the time you have being unhappy. Part of the problem stems from being so used to what you have that the thought of living differently is far riskier. I say take the risks, far better stories, and far greater the reward.